What does it feel like to see a girl with a beautiful, fresh, and cute QQ avatar who you used to like

I want to tell him that I miss him very much and want to hug him, but I understand that I no longer have the qualifications. Tell yourself in your heart to forget and not like him anymore. I'm not afraid to see you, what I'm afraid of is that after seeing you, the starry eyes that once filled me with stars turn into stagnant water, and the feeling of looking at me coldly, then you should kill me. I don't think I can look at those kind of eyes.